so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
honey bunches of taint.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
