Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
