He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
