My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Randomize
