New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
