Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I think I am morally bankrupt
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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