Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
