Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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