I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
