His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
