we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
