I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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