You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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