She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
