i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
