I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
