all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
