i think i have herpe
just one?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
