my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
what day is it and did you see me today?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
