2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
the day after is always just damage control
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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