I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
