it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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