FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
