im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
