It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
