Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
