You're so nebulous sometimes
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
