is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
