That's intense
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
