so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
