I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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