I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
