Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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