But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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