Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Randomize
