She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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