hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
