I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
