Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
