So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
