Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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