just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
