I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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