once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
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