I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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