You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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