Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Well I just put wine in my tea
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
