Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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