lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
