Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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